City of Lights
by shotglasses
Summary: A collection of loosely linked KarelGuy shorts set in modern day Las Vegas. High school, the syndicate, being infatuated with your gym teacher, ohmy! Not at all meant to be taken seriously. :ongoing, updated whenever inspiration strikes:
1. Say Anything

_Note: This little bit of crack was inspired by some comments over in the Livejournal community 20wars. Originally, this was a standalone piece, but I've since expanded it into its own strange little universe. Set in modern-day Las Vegas, for future reference, though I don't suppose that anything would prevent it from being set anywhere else._

* * *

Karel tapped his finger on the armrest of the park bench.

Guy could recognize him a block away with that hair, cascading down his back. It was the envy of all of the girls and several of the boys at school. Karel taught the physical education class at his high school. What most people didn't know, though, was how relatively young he was. He was just out of college when he had started teaching, and he was now just shy of 27.

Guy cautiously approached him. He'd had a crush on Karel since he first started going to high school. He was a senior now and couldn't get it to go away. Being himself, he couldn't stay silent any longer. Maybe, just maybe, he would understand. Maybe it wouldn't squick him out horribly. Maybe he would let it work. Maybe... Just maybe. Guy shuffled over, standing behind him. If he didn't turn around, this might work. If he didn't turn around, he wouldn't notice how nervous Guy was and how he was wringing his hands and how red his face was. If he didn't turn around, Guy would be able to get all of this out in one try.

Karel twitched and Guy froze. "Well... now or never!" he thought to himself and steeled himself for what might come.

"Um.. K-karel? Uh, well, l-look, I've liked you f-for a long time now," Guy stuttered out, "I m-mean, you've probably known that for forever, and I know that you're l-like a lot older than me and all and I know you're a teacher and I know all of that but, I did a lot of thinking and I think it could work, you know? You and me? I guess what I'm trying to say is I think I really like you, and I don't care that it's probably illegal and all; I just want to be with you and... well... I was kind of wondering if, um, you, uh, wanted to, er, I wanted to know if you wanted to go do something sometime!" he finished, having to stop himself from gasping.

Karel twitched again and turned about, regarding Guy oddly. He reached up to his ears and pulled headphones off, hitting pause on his MP3 player.

"Ah, did you say something?"


	2. Feel Like a Million

_Note: Part two of the "Vegasverse" set. Partially inspired by my sister's driving. The rest inspired by nothing in particular. Windmill is an actual street in the lovely city of Las Vegas._

* * *

Guy clung on for dear life in the passenger seat of the black Mustang. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all, he mused, but wasn't about to say anything. He didn't even want to know how fast they were going but it had to be above the speed limit. Way above. They were going to get pulled over and then... Well, actually, only bad things would come of that. Never mind. He didn't need his mother knowing exactly why he was in a car with a man at least five, probably more like ten, years his senior at almost midnight on the outskirts of town. For all of his fanboying, he realized that he didn't actually know how old Karel was. He supposed mid to late twenties.

He screeched as the car pulled to a very abrupt halt under a street light and said man turned to him. "Guy? Where do you live? I've got work in the morning so I need to get you home," Karel said, looking at the small car clock.

"Uh, um, gosh I don't know the address. I can get us there but," he faltered, "well I only really know one way to get there from here and it's kind of long, so," he trailed off feeling utterly pathetic. He couldn't even remember his own street address.

An annoyed expression crossed Karel's face. "You mean you've been living there for how long now and you don't even know the street name?"

Guy turned red, "Ten years and, well it's Wind-something, maybe Windmill, I don't know! Just turn right here!"

Karel whipped the car around in a maneuver that had Guy nearly scream in shock, but he was able to keep all four wheels on the road. Guy buried his head in his hands, trying to calm down. This had definitely been a bad idea. A very bad idea. Now all he needed was for them to break down right around here.

"OH SHIT," Guy heard, and at the same time he felt as if every ounce of air had been knocked out of him and someone had slammed a large antique lamp (Maybe like that one his aunt had. He always had liked that lamp.) into his stomach. The squeal of breaks slamming was the last thing he heard.

He woke up staring into Karel's wide gold eyes and his voice repeating his name with "Kid are you okay?!" smattered about.

"Jesus Christ kid you had me scared there! Don't go doing that to me! What the hell would I have told people?!" he said, breathlessly. Guy nearly passed out again from his close proximity.

"W-what happened?" Guy asked, blinking at the bright street lights, noting that he was still in the car.

"Bastard pulled out in front of us, shot straight out of that alley there," Karel motioned, but the gesture was so quick Guy couldn't follow, and continued, "Slammed on the brakes -- good thing I just got those checked -- but even with that we nearly hit him."

Guy looked at him wide-eyed. "S-so we d-didn't?"

Karel smirked. "Of course not! But you passed out. Thought you'd had a heart attack or something. Christ, Guy. Never been startled before?"

Looking up sheepishly, Guy said, "Well, I've never been all that good with it, er, I g-guess I'm a little nervous?"

"Well, at least you're okay. God, just put my job in jeopardy why don't you? I could get fired for doing something like this you know."

"Y-yeah w-well you a-agreed to it!" Guy stated, obviously still shaken up.

"Look, stop making excuses and tell me how to get to your place? It's nearly midnight and I'm guessing your parents won't appreciate you out all night long," Karel said, obviously agitated.

Guy sat back as Karel drove, pointing out directions here and there. They drove in silence until Guy spoke up. "Why'd you say yes to this?"

Karel regarded him, eyes glittering in the streetlights. "Mmmn, don't really know. Temporary fit of insanity? Or maybe I just like you, kid."

Guy blushed and shifted about in his seat and Karel continued, "Or maybe I'm just bored. Do you have any idea how monotonous it gets, day in and day out teaching you brats how to stretch and how to fucking run?"

Grinning, Guy held in a laugh, "I'd think it would be pretty boring."

"Exactly. I'm not saying we'll do this again, but it's been, I guess I could say, fun. But, jeez kid don't go telling all your little friends about this. Especially not the girls because I don't need them stalking more than they already do."

"But I don't," Guy stopped himself. He did too have friends. There was Matthew and, and, and... Well, there was Matthew! But he was always out with Leila now. "I won't," he said softly.

"Good kid," replied Karel.

"I've got a name, dammit!" Guy said indignantly.

Karel nodded, "Right. Guy. Anyway, where you want me to drop you off? Doubting your parents would like it too much if I just showed up at your front door."

"It's okay. Mom's out of town for the week. She's at some business conference."

Karel knew better than to ask any more. "All right, which house?"

Guy pointed. "That one. With the gnomes in the yard. You know, you could come in if... if you wanted to and we could, um, watch a movie..." he trailed off lamely.

Startled, Karel looked over at Guy. "Is that your lame attempt at picking me up?"

"Uh what no!" Guy squeaked, flustered, but mentally added, "well maybe yes?" His mother had always told him not to lie but this seemed like a time when he either did or got himself into a world of trouble. Not that it was necessarily the bad kind of trouble... but it was trouble, not just for him but for Karel.

"Your eyes betray you," Karel said, smirking. "Well, go on. Get inside before you do something stupid."

'Too late,' Guy thought, leaning forward and kissing Karel's cheek.

"Bye! Thanks for dinner!" he yelled as he dashed into the house. Karel sat in stunned silence, staring after him.


	3. Are We Having Fun Yet?

Note: The note is that there is no note. ♥

* * *

"... I don't think this is a good idea." 

"Oh, come on! Everyone's going to see it! It'll be awesome!" Guy said enthusiastically, waving his arms for emphasis. "Even _Raven_ went to see it!" In his excitement, he had lost his stutter (Or perhaps it was that he was more comfortable around Karel than most people).

"Raven is the local freakshow. He goes to see everything like this that comes out," Karel growled, looking skeptically at the advertisement.

Why was he doing this again? Oh yes, it was because Guy was cute and it was a theater and theaters were dark and fun things could happen in the dark. Or at least, that was what he kept on telling himself as he bought tickets for some horror sequel. Why was he going to see a movie that he hadn't even liked the first one of? "Because Guy was cute" was becoming his mantra.

The question was, why was _Guy_ here? He had the nerves of a mouse hepped up on crack. Karel, on the other hand, just had a general distaste for the genre. Or at least, that was what he was going to keep telling himself. As he let Guy lead him down the dimly lit hallway towards the screen, he wondered just what his chances were of getting out of this at this point. And, wouldn't it just figure; Guy apparently liked the very back row, in the middle.

He sat down, cursing the theater's bad taste in music. Then again, not many establishments could play what he would consider good music and stay in business. Next to him, Guy munched on some popcorn. Karel wondered how on earth they were expected to eat all of it. He certainly wasn't eating more than a fourth of it. That stuff was loaded with calories that he wouldn't be able to work off and his hair hated that much grease.

As the previews started, Karel noticed that they were almost completely alone in the theater. He smirked. How very convenient for him.

Guy couldn't have been more scared in his life. He hated horror movies. Hated them with a passion. But, he had figured that Karel was the type to love them to death and he wanted Karel to be happy. This was what he was trying to convince himself of as he began to mildly freak out, oh who was he kidding, majorly freak out, as the tranquil opening scene turned chaotic. He had no idea what was going on, but it seemed to involve more zombies than was entirely necessary and some rampant virus. Also, he didn't like the look of that chainsaw. That was going to be used at some point, he thought, shuddering.

As he watched, the heroine of the movie tiptoed down a dark corridor. The moans of the undead were plainly audible. Guy knew what was going to happen but it didn't stop him from jumping in his seat when the rotting hand shot through the wall. What he didn't expect, though, was the high-pitched, almost girlish yelp. That... hadn't been the heroine. He looked over at Karel, who glared at him.

"Why. Why did you think this was a good idea?" he asked acidicly.

Guy meeped out, "I t-thought y-you liked horror m-movies?" obviously not, he mentally added for future reference.

"Well you obviously don't, so why go through the trouble?"

Considering, Guy answered, "Well I d-didn't think you'd l-like to see a chick flick or something a-and I d-didn't really want t-t-to watch it. I k-kind of more wanted to - to - to do this," he finished quickly, pressing his lips against Karel's own.

"Ah, now see, that's a bit more the type of... entertainment... I can go for," Karel said before kissing him back, making a valiant attempt to keep the kiss chaste. But, who was he kidding, they both wanted it; he just had a job that made it technically a bad thing to do and Guy had an age that made it technically illegal. As he continued, all pretense of chaste faded from his mind. His mind fell into the realm of "god I hate jailbait why do you exist if I'm caught right now I'm going to be fired and probably thrown in jail because he doesn't even look seventeen much less old enough and no way am I passing for under eighteen." It didn't help things that Guy was a fairly decent kisser and Karel's mind idly wandered to "where the hell did he pick up this kind of thing." Karel quickly found his hands wandering down to Guy's hips while Guy's own were wrapped loosely around his neck.

"Um, Guy?" Karel said, breaking off the kiss, "We can't really do this. At least, I can't."

Guy looked down from where he was practically laying on top of Karel. "W-we won't get caught. I-I'll be careful; I w-won't tell anyone!"

Karel looked up at him, his eyes betraying his slight agitation. "You're not understanding me. If we get caught, nothing'll happen to you; you'll be the, quote, innocent victim, unquote. I would be the one that would lose my job AND probably be thrown into a god damned prison cell for the rest of my damn life. Now see you wait a year and things will be different. A few months, even. Hell, just wait until you graduate."

Guy gave him an almost pouty look and then screamed in terror as he chanced to look up at the screen. "Oh god oh god oh god I did not need to see that," he whimpered as he clung to Karel.

"You scream like my sister," Karel said, attempting to sit up.

"Nonononono, let's just stay here where it's safe?" Guy said in a shakey voice, pushing him back down.

Karel growled. "Get the hell off! You're going to make a scene! Of course, not that you already didn't with that girly little shriek..."

"You're making more of a scene than me!" Guy whispered back harshly, trying like hell to convince Karel to not sit up again because oh god he knew that he wouldn't like the source of that grinding noise or that blood-curdling scream.

Karel groaned in annoyance. "I do not need this. I do not need this at all. Not one bit, you know when I get fired I am hunting you down and murdering you. When my own father disowns me, I am killing you, and it will be the _perfect crime_."

"B-but y-y-you're not gonna get fired! Be-because nobody w-will know!" Guy said quickly, half-clinging to Karel's coat. "C-can we j-just leave?"

"First good idea you've had all night," Karel said, sitting up.

As they walked out, Guy said quietly, "Sorry..."

"Tch, whatever. Shouldn't you be doing homework, anyway?" Karel growled.

"I got it done yesterday," said Guy, for a moment proud.

"I'm sure your teachers would be thrilled," Karel said, sliding into the leather car seat.

As Karel pulled up into Guy's empty driveway, he asked, "Are you sure your neighbors don't find this the least bit suspicious?"

Guy grinned. "Well, Nergal's always yelling at me to get off his lawn, not that he would care anyway since he's more worried that the government's watching his every move, and Serra's too busy with her friends and neither of her parents are home at night, so I'm supposing not."

"What about that guy over there?" Karel asked, suppressing any nervousness he might have felt.

Guy looked over at the man standing on his lawn, staring at the car. "Oh, Rath? He's taken a vow of silence in protest of the firing of one of the Sun's journalists."

Nodding, Karel turned the car off. "And your mother is... again.. out of town? Is she ever home?"

"Not all that much. She's usually on the other side of the country at conferences and stuff."

Karel looked back at the now-empty area where Rath had stood. "So. Nobody's here to see me do this," he said, leaning over and kissing Guy fiercely.

Guy pulled back, more than a little flustered. "Ah, Karel? What about your... job?"

"Exam on Wednesday. Work on those laps, as this isn't something that sleeping with your professor is going to help with."

Guy gave Karel one last peck and practically skipped into the house.

Karel stared after him. "What am I getting myself into..."


	4. Twentyfifth of December

_Note: In which Karla and Vaida make appearances. Also Matthew. Karel's front yard does not survive. Nor do his crumpets. This may be noted as the closest to a Christmas Special this little series will get, since it is meant to be set on Christmas Day.  
_

* * *

A sharp knocking at the door distracted Karel from his culinary adventures. As he cracked the door open ever-so-slightly, a green blur bundled into the room out of the deepening snow.

"Wow! This is where you live? It's really nice!" exclaimed Guy excitedly.

"How did you get here?" Karel asked, peeking out the door at the car in the driveway that certainly wasn't his and definitely wasn't Karla's or Vaida's.

"Matthew drove me!" he said, a wide grin plastered on his face.

Karel shot him a decidedly dirty look before speaking again. "So you told him and it never crossed your mind that this just might be a very stupid idea?"

"Oh, he won't tell anyone! And he doesn't know it's you. He just thinks it's a rich friend of the family that I'm staying with while my mom's out of town." Guy said proudly.

For a moment, Karel mentally congratulated Guy. He was a terrible liar and to come up with something that elaborate must have taken him a good amount of work. But he then realized that Guy was a terribly liar. If he knew Matthew (and he did. The teen had been a hellion in class.), he didn't believe the grinning idiot in front of him for a second. Also, being too intelligent for his own good, Matthew probably knew the exact location of the house of every member of the school faculty, past and present. As these terrifying thoughts ran rampant through Karel's head, he had to stop himself from inflicting some form of physical injury on Guy. He reminded himself that Guy was not, by nature, the brightest creature on the earth. Also, his crumpets were burning...

"Hey Karel is something burning?" Guy asked, noting the strong scent of smoke.

Several things happened at once. The first of which was Karel running towards the kitchen. The second was Karla walking in the door with her fiancee, Vaida. The third was two loud crashes coming from the front of the house.

"Karel, I'm back from the-" Karla began before noticing Guy. He waved faintly, mildly shellshocked, before Karla continued, "Who's this and why is there a strange car in your driveway?"

"What was THAT?" came Karel's voice from the kitchen and at the same time Vaida noted, "The boy in the car just ran over the mailbox and then put his car through your garage door."

"WAIT WHAT?" Karel exclaimed, rushing back out of the kitchen wearing an oven mitt.

"Oh jeez, Matthew's kind of bad at backing up and oh shi-" Guy trailed off, looking out the door at the wreck that was Karel's driveway. He rushed over to Matthew's car that was slowly backing up out of the horribly dented garage door. Karla and Vaida watched from the door as Karel stalked towards the car.

"Matthew!" Guy exclaimed once Matthew had put the car into park and stepped out. Matthew looked at Karel in terror.

"... I can pay for that," he said, voice shaking slightly.

"Like hell you can," Karel seethed, glaring alternately at the car, the mailbox, and the garage door, and Matthew. He glared at Guy once for good measure but found that he didn't like the pitiful look he got in return.

"Would any of you like to explain exactly what happened before someone loses their head?" Karel said, attempting to keep his voice in check.

Matthew began, "Well I kind of... I hit your mailbox and well kind of panicked and..." he trailed off under Karel's withering gaze.

"Know what?" Karel said, and Matthew looked at him expectantly. "I might be willing to forget all of this under one condition. This. Never. Happened. And you hand over all the money you have on you for damages."

Matthew had his wallet out in less than a second and was counting out twenties into Karel's open hand. "Now then. You crashed into a brick wall. Or whatever other convincing cover story you can come up with, and I know you have some good ones because you used them to get out of class more than a couple of times. Now take that wreck and get out of my sight," Karel finished, turning to walk back inside.

"W-wait Karel? Y-you can't do that to him!" Guy exclaimed in a rare moment of bravery.

"Might I remind you of what he did to my house less than a minute ago?"

Karla detached from the door frame to walk over as Matthew pulled out of the driveway. She ruffled Guy's hair. "My brother's right, kid. He's getting the short end of the stick as it is."

"Wait, wait y-you're his sister?" Guy asked, obviously surprised.

Karel nodded and Vaide walked to Karla's side. Guy couldn't help but notice the long scar that poked out the bottom of her short miniskirt.

"Car wreck," she said dismissively once she noticed him staring. "Just be glad your dad wasn't around," she said with a sigh in Karel's general direction and Karla nodded.

"Well, let's get inside. It's freezing out here," Karla said, ushering them all in. "Oh and Karel I brought some pie because I know how hopeless you are at cooking. And," she said, gesturing at Guy, "I don't think we've been properly introduced."

"Oh, that's Guy. He's not supposed to be here," Karel said, giving him one last glare before picking the pie up from where Karla had left it and taking it into the kitchen. Guy heard the refrigerator open and close

Karla studied him for a minute. "Why Karel, you didn't tell me you'd picked up another one. A little young, isn't he? But, he is a cutie."

Guy blushed at the description and Karla wrinkled her nose as if it wasn't a word she was used or particularly liked using.

"I told you, he's not supposed to be here. He's rather fond of following me around, though how he found his way here I don't know."

Guy almost choked on his own spit. "Karel, I thought..." He trailed off.

Karla smiled at him. "Oh don't worry," she whispered. "He's just being an ass."

After some time, Karla went into the kitchen, leaving Guy with Vaida.

"So," he began awkwardly, "you're Karla's..."

"Fiancee," Vaida finished for him.

"Why didn't I ever see you or Karla around school?" he asked, timidly.

Vaida rolled her eyes. "Karel likes to keep his profession and family at arms length apart. He says it's so that he can act more professionally, but everyone with a lick of sense knows that it's to keep dad from getting too involved."

"Dad?" asked Guy.

"Oh, Karel and Karla's father. He's a bit controlling, I suppose you could say."

"More like he won't leave me the fuck alone!" came Karel's voice from the kitchen.

"What my brother means is that father would like to know what's being done with his money and his house," corrected Karla, a tinge of annoyance in her voice. "Speaking of which, he's going to be over sometime this evening."

"He's what- oh shi-" Karel trailed off and reappeared in the entryway to the living room. "Guy, you're going home, like it or not."

"But why, I was just-" he attempted to say before Karel interrupted, "No arguments, Guy, you're getting out of here before he gets here! That's just one more thing I need to happen today he's already going to be wondering what the hell happened to the garage and why I don't have someone's ass in court right this very instant."

Guy got up reluctantly and Vaida gave him a clumsy, slightly stiff hug. "You behave yourself, okay? Don't be getting my future brother-in-law in trouble, okay kid?" she whispered in his ear.

"Karel, don't worry about it, I'll take him home. Just get things cleaned up and see if you can't do something to hammer out the garage door?" Karla said in an almost motherly tone. Karel made a sound that could be taken as agreement, or so Karla seemed to think, and she herded Guy out the door. In the driveway, off to the side of the house, was a car that Guy hadn't seen before. It was fairly small and of a make that Guy didn't recognize.

"Well, get in and let's get you home before Karel has a heart attack," she said with an air of resignation.

Half an hour later, Karla's car pulled up in front of Guy's house.

"W-will he ever actually be nice and touchy-feely?" Guy asked, opening the car door.

"Well, I don't know about the 'nice' part, but on the touchy-feely, someday," Karla said. "Someday, I'm sure. But -obligatory sister moment here- if you by some divine miracle make him lose it -because god knows he'll never cry- so help me, I'll smash your kneecaps, and now I know where you live," she finished with a slight smirk. Karel's smirk.


End file.
